


Phantom Faces

by anna_chronistic



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Canon Era, Comedy, Cosette isn't afraid of anything, Dark Comedy, Gen, Ghosts, Haunted Houses, Practical Jokes, Slice of Life, halloween fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-31
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-08-09 16:16:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16453202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anna_chronistic/pseuds/anna_chronistic
Summary: In which Les Amis' ghosts fail to be scary





	Phantom Faces

**August 28, 1833**

Two months after getting married to Cosette, Marius oftentimes shared leisurely evenings with his wife. This evening, Cosette was playing a song on the piano while Marius was sitting on one of the chairs in the foyer. One of Cosette's beloved cats had curled up on Marius' lap, so Marius had no choice but to stay put. So there he was watching Cosette play Anna Amalia's _Sonata for Traverso_ on the piano. He knew Cosette to be very talented at music, but this song just seemed different than the ones she had played before. Marius could have sworn that he heard something harmonizing with the piano tune.

It sounded something like a flute, which was strange because no one that he knew played the flute. Additionally, there were no flutes at the Pontmercys' house, which meant that someone must have broken into the house. Or Marius was just losing his mind. Once Cosette was done with the song, he brought his observation to her attention.

"Cosette, I do not know if I'm going mad, but I think someone is in this house," Marius said.

"How's that?" Cosette asked.

"Did you hear someone else playing a duet with your piano piece?" Marius said.

"Hear what?" a voice said. It was Jehan Prouvaire, with a flute in hand. Or rather Jehan Prouvaire's ghost.

"What the—oh, it's you, Jehan! I thought ghosts were supposed to be scary," Maruis was simultaneously surprised and relieved.

"Not all of them, Marius," the not-so-unsettling ghost said.

"Oh, so you're Jehan Prouvaire?" Cosette said. "I've heard about you. You're the Romantic, right?"

"Indeed," he said.

"Well you're always welcome to play songs with Cosette," said Marius. "Or help me with my Latin translations."

**September 18, 1833**

Both Cosette and Marius were fortunate enough to be educated. Cosette was studying mathematics and Marius was studying to be a defense attorney, a job that his grandfather would have detested. But they weren't that good at motivating each other to study. This was because Cosette had no interest in politics, and Marius had no interest in mathematics.

One day, whilst procrastinating for his law class, he ditched his book in his room. But the book kept resurfacing in the randomest of places. One moment it would be in the kitchen, then the basement, then the garden, then the bathtub, then the front doorstep. It was almost as if the book was stalking him. Marius had a theory of what this could be.

Having already seen Jehan's ghost, he suspected that the phantom behind this teleporting book was none other than Combeferre.

"Alright, I'll study for my exams, Combeferre!" Marius said begrudgingly.

It was amazing how Combeferre could make him study without even saying a word. Marius remembered Combeferre's laconic counterargument to his long, drawn-out rant about Napoleon, and how the medical student had won that argument with three words: "to be free".

Nevertheless, Marius did not consider Combeferre's ghost to be scary.

**October 16, 1833**

Marius liked keeping the house tidy, but lately he noticed that all the rooms in the house looked slightly off. This was because all the furniture was tilted about 10 degrees. He would fix it, turn away for five seconds, and the furniture would go back to being at an odd angle.

"Alright, Joly, stop trying to align the furniture with the Earth's magnetic field," said Marius. "It is very annoying and not scary in the slightest bit."

"How dare you," Joly's ghost appeared, pretending to be offended.

"Very funny, Jolllly," said Marius. "Now why don't you use your ghost powers to move everything back?"

"Okay Marius, I shall start with this couch," he said. "Catch!"

Joly's ghost then threw the couch across the room, where it abruptly stopped in mid-air. Then Bossuet's ghost appeared holding the couch that he had caught from across the room.

"You were in on this, too? I should have known it," Marius laughed. "I haven't seen you in over a year. How is life—er, uh, death?"

"Well, my luck has changed for the better. I have finally won a bet," Bossuet explained. "I have always told Joly that he would never die of a disease. And it looks that I was right after all, unless getting shot in the face is a disease."

"I can confirm that getting shot in the face is not a disease. You were right, my friend," said Joly.

Marius had forgotten how morbid the two were. Very morbid indeed, but not frightening at all.

**October 31, 1833**

This day, Marius instinctually knew that something wasn't right. This wasn't like his past encounters with the ghosts of his friends. This was far more unsettling. All the furniture was on the ceiling. Every door was randomly opening and closing by themselves. And there was Cosette, floating in the air and slowly rotating. Whatever spirits that were haunting must be truly evil.

"What is going on?!" Marius asked, shaken.

"Taht rof llaf ot hguone elbillug erew uoy eveileb t'nac i" said Cosette.

It couldn't be. A demon was trying to take Cosette! Marius was in panic mode now.

"Don't worry Cosette! I'll get a priest!"

"Ysae oot siht gnikam er'uoy" said Cosette.

As Marius ran for the front door, it shut by itself, and a ghoulish figure appeared in front of Marius. The figure turned their head 360 degrees, laughed wickedly and said, "Pontmercy, you unbelievable idiot!"

"How do you know my name?" Marius whimpered.

"Because I'm Grantaire, and I know how to scare the living daylights out of a pansy like you," the ghost said.

"Wait, what?"

"This was all planned, and you fell or it," Grantaire's ghost explained. "Bahorel and Feuilly put the furniture on the ceiling, Enjolras opened and closed the doors, and Courfeyrac was carrying Cosette to make it look like she was floating."

The rest of the ghosts made themselves visible, but Marius was still in shock.

"You were conspiring with them, Cosette?"

"Indeed. While Courfeyrac was carrying me, I was speaking backwards to sound scary."

"I thought you were speaking Russian," Marius said.

"No I wasn't; I was just trying to scare you. And it seems that it worked very well," said Cosette.

"Thank you for making me look like a fool, everyone," Marius said sarcastically.

"They did not make you look like a fool. You already look like a fool 90 percent of the time," Cosette laughed, holding Marius' hand.

"Fair enough," Marius said.

**Author's Note:**

> [Anna Amalia's _Sonata for Traverso_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QogIcLokOh8)


End file.
